Hi, I’m Nine, and I used to be a Republican and a Catholic. Now I’m an American. LOC isn’t so much of a statement about my political leanings as it is about how much of a wierdo I can be. Read more...
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Shut Up- You’re Helping the Customer! | chrisbrogan.com.
Being an old hand at customer service, and primarily the call center environment, I can tell you that this does not surprise me one bit.
However, one thing to keep in mind: This guy was giving service on his own time. If you work for a contractor, that means unbilled time. Can’t have THAT, now can we?
In this opinion piece, we look at some of the policies of cellular companies and ISPs that leave us wondering exactly how much they truly care about the customer.
“Yes ma’am. I will be happy to transfer you a supervisor so you can tell them how stupid I is. Can you hold for a moment?”
So after my trip to the courthouse, I cleaned up a few things at home and wrestled with the kids, and went to sleep with a clean conscience and the intentions of going to work the next morning and cranking out another 40 email and making up for having to miss work. Also had 4 customers I wanted to follow up with.
WRONG. I get to work and start my morning routine including the you tube video of Pets, by Pornos for Pyros. Well, its either that or Pink Floyd “ One of these Days”- I love helping people and get a kick out of solving problems for customers but sometimes you just gotta have something that is from somewhere else entirely or you are NOT going to make it through the day.
When I am off someone else sits at my desk because we have more butts than seats. I do not know who the hell fucked with my settings yesterday but they even changed my ring in tone and I was not a little bit annoyed with whoever it was to the point of breaking fingers if I ever find out who. But finally I put everything back and I have admin up, and advisor and the queue and go into my webmail, expecting to have my usual 2-3 emails regarding Customer Assistance Resolutions as Ive come to call the solutions handed back to me by various people that mean I have to call someone and tell them their ad is fixed. This can be anything from recovery of a lost ad to billing/refund questions to the latest problem, the 12 week ad source code error. Anyway, like I said , I usually have 2-3 of these a day and they all pretty much follow a pattern :
Mr./Mrs. Saltwater? Im calling in reference to Alphabet Soup. Yes, we were able to fix >insert fuck up< and your ad is currently
yes ma'am/sir we also took care of > insert subsidiary fuck up < and I also noticed > tertiary and quaternary fuck ups < and went ahead and fixed those as well and
oh yes sir/ ma'am, I've started your ad over again from todays date so that you will receive your full >insert ad duration<.
No, Im not a supervisor. I appreciate the compliment. No, any of the other agents will be able to assist you if you should need to call back, Im leaving detailed notes on your account regarding A, B C and D as well as the extension of your ad as well as my extension number if anyone has any questions.
Thank you for choosing Busted Site DOT Com Yes, ma’am/sir you have a nice day as well.
Like I said, normally about 2-3 of those on any given day. Went to Court, came back in, booted up the systems pull up my webmail and there are
TWENTY THREE cars in my inbox. Plus FIVE voicemails regarding a refund request I processed for Mr Huey over 2 WEEKS ago and Mr Huey is quite understandably enough wanting to know where the hell his money is. So first things first, I track down the Refund Department and ask where the hell Mr. Huey’s money is. Okay , maybe I didn’t say hell but as Boss Hogg noticed, my eyes were green and my hackles were rising. I was asked to resubmit which meant calling Huey to get his credit card number and gave me a chance to practice my meditational deep breathing while he ranted about lawyers and lawsuits. I hung up politely enough and physically walked the refund over to the refund desk and fuck anyone who wanted to yell at me about PROCEDURE because apparently procedure doesnt get the refund processed.
So then I go back to the inbox to start the cars. Of which I now have a total of 25. And just as Im realizing today may not be my day Im informed that Im also supposed to be bounce testing the new system for bugs and system errors So I root around a minute and discuss my lack of a pass word and log in and eventually someone supplies it to me . Pull up said system and true to company form NOTHING IS THERE. Some dumbass didnt even load it on my computer.
It is now time for my break, and I go on break optimistically thinking that a little caffeine will be just the thing and Ill get all those cars done and I get back to my desk- or the dealership, as Im starting to call it to find that Im now at 27- it was 28 but one was completed, so 27
Deep Breath. Inhale. Exha- rng rng
( Ia m going to kill whoever fucked with my ring in}
Thank you for calling Busted Site dot Com, my name is marginally pissed, how can I help you today? Can you hold a moment?
Upraised eyebrow aimed at the supervisor
“ finish your call and meet me in the conference room “
ooookaaaay.
…..
Thank you for choosing Busted, have a nice day.
Sign off. Wander in conference room, no one there. Wander over to supervisor desk,
“ok, great, Ill be right there”
…..
Hi, is this about the system upgrade stuff?
“Its about your skirt.”
Raised eyebrow
“Its too short, you cant wear it “
mental insertion – well dayum, do I take it off r something?-
But SO n SO said it was ok, I wore it last week and asked her. And she said it was fine.
“well we will get with her about that. But you cant stay on the floor in violation of the dress code. You need to leave and change clothes.
Ok, are you aware that I have t ride the bus home and its going to take 3hours MINIMUM to get home and back?
Kim, I dont WANT to send you home. But I cant play favorites and I already had to send 2 other people home so I have to send you too
But
Ill tell so n so what happened and that you cant come back, you wont get in trouble
( sure I wont )
But…
and then I think briefly of 27 cars in my inbox versus a daughter having recurring nosebleeds and walk to my computer, shut the whole system back down, call both my lunch dates to cancel and suddenly Im out of the building, its 1130 am and the smoke haze from the North Carolina fire cant be cut wih a chainsaw.
Off I stagger, wheezing loudly,to my next adventure
THE NEW AND SUPPOSEDLY IMPROVED BUS SYSTEM.
The FreakFeed, Obama, Muslims, and Blogtards, Oh My! Globat and The Evil YASI, hosted by Chip in Tech Support, Live from Bangladesh!
Im just a little cheesed off with my hosting provider. This morning, it was just for one reason. Now, it’s for two separate ones.
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Earlier today, I wondered–and subsequently Twittered–about the possible customer service application of a program like Twitter.
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When Kimball Rollins opened his eyes for what he thought was an eternity, he actually found himself puzzled as to why he had actually closed them. He couldn’t remember. In fact, there wasn’t much at that moment that he could remember.
Bad Behavior has blocked 1426 access attempts in the last 7 days.
