Dashcast 11/29/2008

Technorati Tags: Black Friday, Comedy, dashcast, Nine, Podcasts, Walmart

The year was 1997. I was working 3rd Shift for NationsBank Card Services. Back before we had 24 hour stores, This WalMart opened at 4am on Black Friday. One of the things they had on sale was a 30 inch color TV for an insaneprice. So, I decided to get to the nearest WalMart on Miiltary Highway, get in, get out with my TV. I knew, however, that I was going to have a problem with the mob. But, I also knew something that the mob didn’t know, and planned to use that to my advantage.

I arrived at the store, went directly to the customer service desk, and the young lady there rang me up for my purchase, gave me a receipt, and told me to give it to the folks standing guard at the TV’s. I went back there and pushed my way through the crowd, handed my receipt to the person there, and they started going through the motions of getting one loaded into my cart.

What happened next can only be described as all hell breaking loose. The crowd of people, ready to fight over these TV’s, refused to let me pass, and threatened to beat the snot out of me. At the very least, they weren’t going to let me out of the store with a working TV, the implication being they would sooner see the one I had just bought fairly smartly bounce tested before I got out of the store. The WalMart employee told the crowd that there was nothing he could do about it, as I had paid for the item, one of those TV’s was rightfully mine. They had to get security guards to escort me out of the store with the TV. The fact that I worked smarter and not harder had just pissed off at least 50 or 60 people, and they all knew they’d been had. Not by me, mind you, but rather their own inability to do a little homework. They all came ready for a fight over a TV. I came for a TV. As expected, they got their fight, and some of them didn’t get a TV. I got a TV without a fight.

I’m fairly sure WalMart doesn’t allow that anymore, as it appears they’d rather see people act like savages. At the very least, they don’t advertise the fact that you can buy the damn thing first and go pick it up with ticket in hand. In any event, I shop online now and refuse to go shopping at a box store after Thanksgiving unless I absolutely have to as a last resort.

When I see events like what happened yesterday, I’m just reminded of the irrationality of a mob. I’m also reminded, sadly, of the fact that people (as opposed to specific persons) are generally stupid, and hate being proved stupid. A simple phone call would have given them the same knowledge I had, and it damn sure would have made their night a lot simpler.

To them I say, “Wake up, savages. You’re being had.” You’re being had by the stores, by the folks who report the news, and by people like me who up until yesterday, made fun of you. I can’t make fun of a guy being stomped to death by a mob. It’s sad. I can however, point the blame at the animalistic behavior of the zero-sum game mindset that Black Friday puts people in, and I can point the finger of blame at the stores who promote the idea that gladitorial combat is the only way you’re going to get a sweet deal on that Flat Screen. It’s sickening, and something has to be done before somebody else dies.

I read somewhere that Target doesn’t do the 5am doorbusters anymore, and prefers to do a 2 day sale instead, because they didn’t want something like this to happen in their store.

Sounds like a good enough reason to shop at Target.

Technorati Tags: Black Friday, Nine, Riot, Television, Thanksgiving, Wal-Mart, Walmart

Dashcast 11/13/2008

Technorati Tags: Comedy, dashcast, Kimmensity, Nine, Podcasts

Dashcast 11/11/2008

Technorati Tags: Adobe Audition, Analysis and Opinion, Ann Coulter, Audacity, Barack Obama, Bill O'Reilly, Catholics, Comedy, Conservative, dashcast, FOX News, Harry Shearer, Hot Air, Keith Olbermann, Kimmensity, Liberal, Michael Savage, Michelle Malkin, Microsoft, Mormons, MPAA, MSNBC, Nine, Obama Derangement Syndrome, Oprah Winfrey, Phil Hendrie, Podcasts, Prop 8, Rachel Maddow, RIAA, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Talk Radio, Vista

I wrote this yesterday and debated whether to record it or leave it as a post. I originally decided on leaving it as a post, because I wasn’t sure I could get through it without blowing my kidney across the room.

So, to the many sadists out there that have demanded that I record it anyway, thanks. I now have but one kidney to give for my country, but I gave it laughing my ass off.

Audio Version Of The Guide

Technorati Tags: 2008 Election, Ann Coulter, Barack Obama, Bill O'Reilly, Comedy, John McCain, Keith Olbermann, Michelle Malkin, MSNBC, Nine, Podcasts, Rachel Maddow. FNC, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity

Dashcast 11/1/2008

Nine hates fall, Site Update, Election Coverage, and the many many ways to support Left Of Center.

Technorati Tags: 2008 Election, Comedy, dashcast, Nine, Podcasts, Site Related

The American Smartass 10/31/2008

Chock full of Halloween Music, Twitch teaches us how to cast spells, Nagaina Malkin takes a hit, Nine rants on Halloween and The Election.

It’s Gonna Get Better. Happy Halloween

Technorati Tags: 2008 Election, Comedy, Halloween, Nine, Podcasts, Smartass

Dashcast 10/30/2008

It was early, I’d slept for 3 hours, and I’m behind the wheel of a car. Obama came up. Something. Something else. Screw it.

Technorati Tags: Comedy, dashcast, Kimmensity, Nine, Podcasts

TAS 10/17/2008

Live with The SuperFreaks

WARNING: Due to technical concerns, this is a three hour show that was intended to be cut into parts, and PC Karma bit me in the ass. So, I’m posting the whole damn thing.

Technorati Tags: Comedy, Nine, Podcasts, Smartass, Superfreaks

Dashcast 10/17/2008

Technorati Tags: Comedy, dashcast, Nine, Podcasts